When the Ending Comes Too Soon: Supporting Year 11 Through Loss and Uncertainty

It seems like only yesterday that I watched my daughter walk into her first year of secondary school, her blazer far too big and her confidence resting on the fact that her older brother was there to look out for her.

Like many parents, I knew that school would shape her. That over five years she would grow in confidence and move from an uncertain Year 7 to a self-assured Year 11. She had watched her siblings go through this transition and eagerly anticipated the rituals that mark its end—GCSEs, prom, and the shared experience of saying goodbye.

Over the past year, I have seen her and her friends commit to Year 11. They prepared for GCSEs, explored colleges, A-levels and BTEC pathways, and began to imagine life beyond school. There was excitement in choosing prom dresses, discussing hair and makeup, booking limousines, and planning celebrations. These milestones matter. They are not trivial; they help young people make sense of endings and prepare emotionally for what comes next.

For the Class of 2020, those endings have come abruptly and without warning.

GCSEs have been cancelled. Prom may never happen. There were no leavers’ assemblies for many, no final goodbyes, no shared sense of closure. When I asked my daughter and her friends how they were feeling, they spoke of anger, sadness, and a deep sense of loss. They feel robbed of a rite of passage experienced by generations before them. They worry that their efforts will go unrecognised and that their achievements will not be celebrated.

They are also grieving the loss of connection—to teachers, to friends they may never see again, and to the structure and safety that school provided. Added to this is anxiety about isolation, lockdown, and an uncertain future. For adolescents, whose emotional regulation is still developing and whose identity is shaped through social connection, this loss is profound.

As a counsellor, I want to emphasise the importance of patience and compassion during this time. These young people were in the midst of transitioning into adulthood, and that process has been disrupted in a way that feels sudden and uncontrollable. They are allowed to grieve—not only what has been lost, but the future they believed they were stepping into.

As adults, we can help by validating their feelings rather than minimising them. By acknowledging their disappointment. By reassuring them that their hard work still matters, regardless of how it is assessed. What they have developed—resilience, commitment, and perseverance—will endure far beyond any exam result.

Connection is more important than ever. While physical distancing may be necessary, emotional isolation does not have to be. Encourage young people to talk, to share their fears and frustrations, and to lean on the relationships around them.

Above all, remind them that this moment does not define them. When this period of uncertainty passes—and it will—they will move forward, carrying with them the strengths they have already shown.

We are here. We are listening. And they do not have to face this alone.

Warm regards

Kathy